observations

things i often murmur to myself—
"easy, mae. easy." 
"cool your jets, mae. cool your jets." 
"let it go. let. it. go."
"it's no big deal. no biggie. smalls." 
"peace. peas. easy peasy." 

-i'm running errands in the summer heat today and might possibly attend a birthday party tonight, then a baby shower tomorrow. social anxiety on full force this weekend. 

-speaking of anxiety, i might need to cut down on coffee. four cups a day cannot be good...

-bathrooms have the greatest acoustics. i'm recording my first album in a bathroom. 

 

l'été est arrivé

summer's here and i've got the outdoors on my mind. not that there aren't things to do in the wintertime... i'd like to try snowboarding/skiing some time. my friends always brag about how much fun it is. as long as there's a low chance of avalanches, i'm up for it.

in the meantime, i'll make the most of the daylight lasting longer. i'm still in the middle of the city, but pocketed within it are glimpses of nature, wondermous nature to trample on. i mean, hike... on. it's an odd notion, though, for "nature" to be in the midst of a concrete jungle. it feels superficial, but at the least, i have a place to get away to in a short amount of time.

your soul is a ghost town. your heart, a sunken ship.

one of the things i live for: cycling downhill at an adrenaline-pumping fast speed and be fearless enough to not even let your fingers tip toe the hand brakes.

my bike gets used up a lot during the summer. i usually ride through the l.a. river bike path and griffith park, but someday, i'd love to run away to the countryside of france or italy and use my bicycle as my main mode of transport.

there are good things ahead. more road trips are in the works which can only mean one thing. hiking! and perhaps camping and some more bike riding...

biro

This guy. So good. Illustrations using a Bic biro pen.

http://markpowellbirodrawings.moonfruit.com/#  

sketch party for one

I remember hearing horrible stories about a certain art school here in L.A. There was a teacher who set his student's project on fire during a critique to teach him not to get too attached to his work. I don't know how effective that was or if it was even true, but I know that if a professor did that to me, I would set his pants on fire 'cause he's a liar! It's a pretty extreme, and maybe even pretentious, act. I mean, do you really have to commit arson to teach someone a lesson? That's a felony!

Where am I going with this?

Ah, yes. Do you sketch or draw? I love to except when I do, it takes me almost the same amount of time it takes a great artist to paint... forever. And it's not even a good sketch or drawing. I, by no means, label or consider myself an "artist," but when I've watched my friends sketch on their moleskins, it always makes me want to try harder. Sadly, it never got to a point where I love it so much that I did something about it. Or maybe I get frustrated and lose patience when I can't get something to look a certain way. I need to work on that, I know. There are certainly the basics, like everything is a shape, and if you know anatomies well, drawing should be easy peas for you. If I had the motivation and patience, I would absolutely immerse myself in this more.

All of this still exists. None of it was burned:

fun open source stuffs

here are some sites to browse through, participate in, get inspired by, collaborate with...

 http://tympanus.net/codrops/  tutorials on web trends + techniques

http://codepen.io/  fun stuff

http://theonion.github.io/fartscroll.js/  silly stuff

http://www.distancetomars.com/  out of this world stuff

http://andrevv.com/  fun scrolling stuff

OMGoT

Who watched Game of Thrones last night? For those who haven't read the books, who knew that was coming? Most of the season's been kinda... meh, so something colossal had to happen, right? I haven't read the books, but the deaths of so many relevant characters was, well, shocking. I mean, the wolf was even killed. What the?

There's only one episode left and I'm overwrought. The next season doesn't start until next March. That's March 2014. 2014!! It's grueling to have to wait that long again and again. I'll be reading the books until then.

 

(the video- not for the faint of heart).

nutellove

This is nuts.
Nutella + fruits is my most recent obsess! You can't deny the goodness.

(and just for the record, two jars were gifted and one I gave to a friend.) 

 

i love wood.

I like making things out of wood. With a help of a friend, this portfolio case was made. It's quite heavy so it'd be impractical to carry around such thing. That's why it's been collecting dust. I'd love to pursue doing more of this stuff, though. With all the leftover wood I have from this project, I'll be making a coffee table, stool, chair, bookcase, a house...

toad rrips

Actually, I meant road trips.

Most everyone likes to travel or would like to see the world at some point (before entering the fifth dimension)... This past January, I took a solo road trip to Big Sur and Monterey. Why I'd never taken solo road trips before is a wonder because I had so much fun. I'd gone camping in Big Sur a few years ago, but with my then-boyfriend, and I'd never been to Monterey, so I thought I'd hit the road with nothing but the music on my iphone and snacks from Trader Joe's, to live in a yurt for a couple of days and to reunite with a lovely friend.

When on a road trip, whether alone or accompanied, there's something about the solitude/nostalgia of it that makes the heart heavy. There's a kind of loneliness that you itch to get out of, but at the same time, find comfort in. Maybe because we see how vast the land is, that there's so much more than the 9-5, our "bubble," the general problems in life... It's kind of like standing on a mountain, looking out at the ocean and realizing how small we are in comparison. And if you look beyond that, like outer space, the universe, we're like quarks... specks... Then it makes you wonder, if I'm so small, would what I do in life matter? Could the horrible mistakes and decisions I've made... the suffering, really be so grave? What about my accomplishments, dreams, goals, happiness? What is it all for? And when we die, we die. There is no after-life, no reincarnation... We just die, become dust. So if that's the case, why would it matter if we did make the most out of life or if we just didn't do anything at all? What is the purpose and why? Does it make a difference to even think about it?   

In any case, I'm still here for whatever reason. My existential crisis gets the best of me sometimes. These are the things I ponder when I'm experiencing bouts of solitude. For now, I'll just live it up knowing nothing is permanent, or at least accept that I can sometimes feel alone in a world of billions of people, loving family, trustworthy friends and embrace it in some way, even if I don't find the answer(s).

Big Sur + Monterey: