shortly after I'd wondered why I had the constant need to "open up my hips" (in terms of yoga), a couple of students and the teacher, out of nowhere, said that's where a lot of our emotional baggage is stored. I never asked, said a word or mentioned it, but it was like they read my mind! I also googled it and it's true, true because I felt a difference even before knowing why. there was even a day where I felt so light that nothing mattered, like I was floating. man, it was bliss.

speaking of yoga, My 30-day Bikram challenge isn't going so well. it's become more like "every-other-day Bikram challenge." I mean, Bikram is good. I like Bikram. I LOVE to sweat. I get used to the heat, and the smell isn't really bad unless you're taking a class right after another. I like seeing how far I could go but also being conscious of my "edge." and this is where my problem with Bikram is. I don't know if other people have experienced the same thing, and this is just my logic speaking which is already pretty questionable anyway, but when you're in a 105 degree room and your muscles are loose, is it possible to take yourself over your edge without realizing it because of how loose your muscles are? am I crazy? I woke up one morning after a great night with Bikram and I had pain in my groinal area. is groinal even a word? I don't care whatever. upper, right hind groin. there. I've never even gotten aches from running, dancing, hiking, or regular yoga! it's kind of been around for a little over a week and it hurts to do stretches. I'm thinking I pulled a muscle but I'm no doctor so it doesn't really matter, does it?

regular yoga, on the other hand, just keeps getting better and better. I surprise myself with what I'm capable of. still struggling to quiet the mind, but I love it, everytime.

"The profound scent of fritos, sweat, and wet socks wafts through Bikram's musty, 105 degree enclosed den."

This is what went through my mind when I first stepped into the damp, stank room on my first day of Bikram yoga. I thought it would take a few minutes to get used to the smell, but it took all 90-minutes of class. Actually, I didn't get used to it. I just had to tolerate it.

Bikram was hard. The heat, man. The 105 degree heat! The flow of poses is something I also need to get used to. Being on your feet/hands + knees then down on your back to savasana then back up again... I remember thinking, "Can't we stay in savasana for like 2 minutes?" There's no downward-facing dog or child's pose here, which is what I usually do when I need to get my back to my breath. I needed to do that a few times, especially when I started to feel lightheaded and my vision got cloudy. Yea, I almost fainted, but that's probably better than vomiting. There also isn't any quiet time for consciousness of breath/meditation in the beginning and end of class. I've grown accustomed to doing it that way. At about an hour into the 90-minute class, I was already done and wanting it to be over, but that was only my first time. I'm going to give it more chances to see if I can get used to it, or at least concentrate on the good of it than the difficulty.

bikram broke my groin

bikram